Tahmi Reads | The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Lessons Learnt

When you think you understand the logic behind something but it completely questions your logical understanding of things, its makes you looks at things from a different perspective. If you like to be challenged then this might be the book for you. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck explores notions of looking at negative experiences in a positive light. Author Mark Manson finds a great way to make you question the logic behind understandings that we as a society take as a given. And that is exactly why I would like to share this great read with you.

"Life is like a game of cards. Some of us get better cards than others. Although it's easy to get hung up on the cards, and feel like we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we take and the consequences we choose to live with". (Excerpt from the book by Mark Manson)

The key points that I learned in the book are summarised below:

1. Accepting your own negative experience is in itself's a positive experience as only when you accept your situation can you actually try things to change it. (Relates to Alan Watts' "Backwards Law")

2. - Not giving a f*ck means being comfortable with the uncomfortable.

- Not giving a f*ck means you are giving a f*ck about something more important than meaningless and frivolous causes.

- Whether done consciously or unconsciously, you always choose what you give a care about. You either allow something to take over your mind/thoughts that is worth giving that energy to, or you allow something that's not worth it to take over your mind.

3. Pain is a natural part of life which helps you learn and grow. The sooner you accept this, the more you can focus on working with the pain to help you overcome any obstacles.

4. Happiness is a choice, therefore is an activity, a verb. There are 2 reasons why we suffer from being happy:

- Denial: by not acknowledging the problem and finding short term happiness instead of focusing on a long term solution.

- Victim Mentality: this is a very problematic mindset to have. Feeling like others are always to blame and it is outside of your control when in reality, no matter what unfortunate situation comes your way, you still have control over how you choose to react to it.

5. Self awareness is key. There are three layers to self awareness to helps you grow as an individual:

- First Layer: understand your emotions behind what you are feeling. What emotion are you actually feeling?

- Second Layer: understand why you are feeling these emotions? What is the root cause?

- Third Layer: this is based on your personal values, what standards are you using to measure your emotion/success/failure?

6. A situation may not necessarily be your fault, but you are still responsible for what you make of it. Fault is based on external factors whereas responsibility is based on internal factors that you can control. Being aware of this will help you to remain in power over what you choose to do next.

7. There was a reference to a Buddhist concept that the idea of who are you are as an individual is in fact an arbitrary mental construction. This idea itself can either grow you or trap you. I thought this was a fascinating concept as it shows how powerful our mindset can be and how much society can sadly influence what is deemed as acceptable/successful or unacceptable/unsuccessful.

8. The reality is that if you are looking to be successful, you must be willing to accept failure. Failure comes as a part of growth. Therefore, if you are unwilling to fail, then you are unwilling to succeed.

9. Success is based on action, but is not a linear process. It can be represented in this cycle below:

This book is definitely worth a read and if you plan on picking it up, then you can easily buy from Amazon here.

Let me know if you have read the book and what your thoughts are below. If not, what do you think of the points I have mentioned in this post? Do you relate to any or do you feel that there are certain actions that you would like to change about yourself? if so, what are they?